Buying a sex toy together can feel like a big step, especially if neither of you has done it before. It does not need to be complicated. The easiest couples toys are the ones that fit into what you already enjoy, rather than ones that need a manual and a rehearsal.
This guide covers how to start the conversation, the four main kinds of couples toys, and how to pick a first one that feels exciting rather than intimidating.
Start with the conversation, not the cart
Before you look at a single product, talk about what you each want the toy to add. More sensation during sex? Something playful for a date night? A way to tease each other from across the room? You do not need detailed answers, just a shared direction.
A few gentle ways to open the topic:
- Bring it up outside the bedroom, when there is no pressure to try anything right away.
- Browse a collection together and point out what catches your eye, without committing to anything.
- Agree that either of you can say “not for me” without it meaning anything bigger.
Decide what role the toy will play
Most couples toys fall into one of four groups. Knowing which one you want narrows the choice quickly.
Wearable, hands-free toys
These are worn during sex so neither of you has to hold anything. Larita is a flexible wearable couples vibrator that hugs the body, gives blended clitoral and internal stimulation, and shares its vibrations with your partner, with 10 vibration modes to explore.
Remote-controlled toys
Remote toys put one partner in charge of the sensation, which adds anticipation and play. Fanny Flutter is a remote-controlled panty vibrator, and Maximus is a whisper-quiet, remote-controlled vibrating penis ring with vibrations you both feel.
Double-ended toys for shared use
Double-ended toys are designed to be enjoyed by both of you at the same time. Bad Pony has a secure suction base and two curved ends that stimulate both bodies at once, while Sappho is a double-ended vibrator with independent vibrations and a flickering feature for clitoral stimulation, for solo or shared play.
Small toys you can bring into anything
If you would rather start simple, a small vibrator is the least intimidating option and works during foreplay, sex or solo time. The Pleasure Pack brings together three mini vibrators, a lubricant and a pouch, so you can try different sensations before deciding what you like. Our guide to mini and bullet vibrators explains the differences.
Keep your first choice simple
For a first couples toy, simple usually wins. Look for:
- Clear, body-safe materials listed on the product page. Our guide to body-safe sex toys explains what to check.
- A quiet motor, especially if you share walls or a home with others.
- Easy controls, so you spend your time on each other rather than on buttons.
- Clear care and lubricant guidance on the product page.
Sharing a toy hygienically
Clean your toy before and after every use, and follow the product’s care instructions for what it can be washed with. Our guide to cleaning sex toys safely covers the basics, including how to store toys between uses.
When one of you is nervous
It is common for one partner to be more curious than the other. Go at the pace of whoever is less sure. Some couples find it helps for the nervous partner to try the toy alone first, so the sensation is familiar before it is shared. Starting on the lowest setting and building up slowly keeps things comfortable, and our article on vibrators that feel too intense has more on finding the right level.
For more playful ideas once you have found your feet, see our list of fun sex toys for couples, or browse the full couples sex toys collection. Every order ships from Vancouver in plain packaging with discreet billing, and shipping is free across Canada on orders over $69.
Couples Sex Toys: Common Questions
What is a good first sex toy for couples?
A simple, quiet toy that fits into what you already enjoy is the best start. A wearable couples vibrator or a small vibrator you can use during foreplay or sex are both easy first choices.
Are couples sex toys hard to use?
Not usually. Most couples toys have simple controls, and choosing one with a single clear purpose, such as a wearable or a remote-controlled toy, keeps it easy and pressure-free.
Can you use a wearable vibrator during sex?
Yes. Wearable couples vibrators such as Larita are designed to be worn during sex, giving hands-free stimulation and sharing vibrations with your partner.
What does a remote-controlled vibrator add for couples?
A remote lets one partner control the sensation, which adds anticipation and playfulness, whether you are in the same room or out on a date.
How do you clean a sex toy you share?
Clean it before and after every use following the product’s care instructions, let it dry fully, and store it in its pouch or case away from other toys.
Where can I buy couples sex toys in Canada?
Esmerelda, a woman-founded Vancouver brand, sells wearable, remote-controlled and double-ended couples toys online with discreet shipping across Canada, and is also stocked at retailers across the country.
